lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
