I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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