true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
