Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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