dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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