ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize