I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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