Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
