that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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