I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
