I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
