You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
