Im at strip club and am horny
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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