Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
