I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
