Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
