living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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