Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
