i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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