If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
