Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
