yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
