No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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