Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
