his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I want to be your penis for a week.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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