Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We had to coat check the pizza.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize