During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
