SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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