Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize