their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
