"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
