I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
