I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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