if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
