I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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