after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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