I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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