She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize
