Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize