i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i think my cat just said my name.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
