Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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