dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
