I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize