omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
