That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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