; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
