It's just like the Real World with babies
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
