We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
