Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
