I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Randomize