look no pants
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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