if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
do nipples grow back?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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