Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
