We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
