it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
