Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
my liver is dry heaving
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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