I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
