I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
