he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
3pm strippers are depressing
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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