The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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