just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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