I didn't shave. On purpose
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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