so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
