wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The best revenge is premature balding
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
