two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
