oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
