I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
