I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
