As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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