Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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