where am i from again
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
