I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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