Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
