I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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