omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
