i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize