covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
